Anti-Aging in Elizabeth, New Jersey

Menopause and Giving in to the Mystery

By Menopause Goddess, Lynette Sheppard

Early in my Menopause transition (euphemism for hellish maelstrom of horrifying hormonal events), so many things bothered me that I couldn't keep count. As the preliminary WTF freakouts of perimenopause and volcanic upheavals of The Big M are now mostly in my rear view mirror, I realize that some irritants that used to upset me simply don’t any longer. And that’s a real blessing.

For example, I used to be confounded and annoyed by the backhanded compliment "You look good…for your age." Now, heck, I'll take any compliment I can get without overanalyzing it for nuance or even honesty. I'll just focus on the "look good" part and thank the complimenter with sincere gratitude.

Being called ma'am initially was both disconcerting and horrifying. My mom is ma'am. And she just barely. I felt old and frumpy every time I was addressed in this fashion usually by someone only recently out of diapers, waiting on me in the store or bank.

But now, I gotta say, I'm okay with ma’am. You might say I've grown into it. Ma'am. Short for madam – now there’s a racy little thought. And when someone calls me "Miss"? I know they're just sucking up or trying to sell me something. I no way qualify for "Miss" anymore. Another thing in my rear view mirror and I don’t really miss it.

I've heard some of my friends and sister goddesses over the years complain about being invisible. And I've certainly experienced that evanescence myself when a clerk looks right past me to wait on some hot young woman. "Hey!" I'd want to yell. "I"m right here taking up space. Service me – or at least wait on me." (No I never did yell, I'd just clear my throat and say, "Excuse me, I believe I was here first." Which either worked or didn't.

However, now in my post menopausal incarnation, I find that I enjoy a certain anonymity, thanks to this decreasing visibility. I can slip in and out of places faster than a greased pig. Hawkers on the street miss giving me flyers. I love that.

And if I'm having a bad hair day? Or a fat day? Who cares? I'm invisible in the very best way and can just go about my business, carefree and happy. I don't have an image to keep up. I'm ma'am now, remember?

No, I'm not letting myself go – just letting myself be. So much easier when you aren't noticed that much anymore. Whew, what a relief. Forgetting things drove me absolutely stark staring mad in the beginning of my transition. Not so anymore. I'm used to it. I have workarounds to make my life work. I am the Queen of ritual and OCD in organizing stuff.

I just can't trust my formerly prodigious memory any longer to pick up the slack. And honestly, I can't get all worked up about it anymore. I exercise my brain as well as my body but neither are going to be in Olympic condition any time soon. Or ever. Hence the workarounds.

Lastly, not knowing the why of things sent me into an info gathering tailspin. Not all bad. I've learned (and shared) so much about the crazy Menopause journey through my incessant desire for understanding. And while I can learn and understand a lot, some things will remain incomprehensible. Maybe forever.

Like why I had hot flashes to the point of nausea and my friend Susan had nary a flush. Or why black cohosh works for some and not others. Or why I and others lose our hair while some women boast luxurious manes all their lives.

Overall, I've come to an acceptance that some things may never be clear. In a sense, I’m on a need-to-know basis – and apparently the great mystery has decided that I don’t really need to know. So be it.

Maybe the biggest change is this: I'm just going to enjoy the Mystery, however it plays out, whatever challenges or wonders await me 'round the next bend. That might be one of the secrets to aging gracefully. Maybe not. Then again, maybe.

We know how important finding the right provider and hormone health care is for you.

Our Health Provider Locator contains many types of professionals, please refer to the following list for explanation:

Provider Sign Up »

Nearby Results Your search returned 34 nearby results

  1. Eric Knochenhauer MD

    Staten Island, NY (About 4 miles)

    Phone
    (718) 761-6000

  2. Janet E Norton MD

    Staten Island, NY (About 5 miles)

    Phone
    (718) 727-9125

  3. Anna Pavlides MD

    Staten Island, NY (About 5 miles)

    Phone
    (718) 273-5500

  4. Rita Shats MD

    Staten Island, NY (About 5 miles)

    Phone
    (718) 273-5500

  5. Carol Skipper MD

    Jersey City, NJ (About 7 miles)

    Phone
    (201) 547-3555

  6. Daniel Zacharias MD

    Short Hills, NJ (About 8 miles)

    Phone
    (973) 912-0006

  7. Steven Goldstein MD

    New York, NY (About 8 miles)

    Phone
    (212) 263-7416

  8. Tina Dobsevage MD

    New York, NY (About 9 miles)

    Phone
    (646) 672-0763

  9. Elizabeth Poynor MD

    New York, NY (About 9 miles)

    Phone
    (212) 426-2700

  10. Karlene ChinQuee MD

    New York, NY (About 9 miles)

    Phone
    (212) 861-3130

  11. Richard Ash MD

    New York, NY (About 9 miles)

    Phone
    (212) 758-3200

  12. Rimma Sherman MD

    Livingston, NJ (About 9 miles)

    Phone
    (973) 597-1197

  13. Anne Cozien-Crenesse MD

    Brooklyn, NY (About 9 miles)

    Phone
    (718) 780-4851

  14. Deborah Coady MD

    New York, NY (About 9 miles)

    Phone
    (212) 941-0011

  15. Eden Fromberg DO

    New York, NY (About 9 miles)

    Phone
    (212) 941-0011

  16. Monique Vizel-Schwartz MD

    New York, NY (About 10 miles)

    Phone
    (212) 228-7645

  17. Jeffrey Delson MD

    New York, NY (About 10 miles)

    Phone
    (212) 206-0629

  18. Roberta Lee MD

    New York, NY (About 10 miles)

    Phone
    (646) 935-2220

  19. Eric Ganz MD

    New York, NY (About 10 miles)

    Phone
    (212) 641-4500

  20. Nancy Mellow MD

    New York, NY (About 10 miles)

    Phone
    (212) 242-0430

  21. Joseph Carluccio MD

    Bloomfield, NJ (About 10 miles)

    Phone
    (973) 338-3300

  22. Aurora DeJuliis MD

    Bloomfield, NJ (About 10 miles)

    Phone
    (973) 338-6300

  23. Sabina Ostolski DO

    New York, NY (About 10 miles)

    Phone
    (212) 253-5501

  24. Lorraine Maita MD

    Short Hills, NJ (About 10 miles)

    Phone
    (973) 218-2610

  25. Ronald Hoffman MD

    New York, NY (About 10 miles)

    Phone
    (212) 779-1744

  26. Eric Braverman MD

    New York, NY (About 11 miles)

    Phone
    (212) 213-6155

  27. Thomas Tupper MD

    New York, NY (About 11 miles)

    Phone
    (212) 246-5888

  28. Jacque Moritz MD

    New York, NY (About 12 miles)

    Phone
    (212) 603-4160

  29. Mahshid Assadi MD

    New York, NY (About 12 miles)

    Phone
    (212) 315-3322

  30. Lonnie Morris ND, CNM

    Fort Lee, NJ (About 15 miles)

    Phone
    (201) 969-1759

When you have found a provider, it is critical to ask the important questions. To assist you, we've created our list Ten Questions to Ask Your Health Care Provider.

For customized compounds like natural testosterone or estrogen you will need to find a compounding pharmacy. These compounds require a prescription from a licensed health care provider. For additional resources click here.

Please note: Women in Balance does not necessarily endorse or recommend any of these clinicians or resources. WIB is also not promoting any commercial product, entities or individuals. In addition, this locator tool is for the exclusive use of women looking for health care providers. Any unauthorized use is strictly prohibited.

Provider Sign Up »

Sponsored by: